Your Inner Being (High Self) is available to you always.  There will be times that this doesn't seem possible, times when you feel completely alone.  This is just another illusion being presented to you.  It's all part of the human condition.  This illusion of being disconnected from your source is an illusion that keeps you from finding your truth.  When you are out of step, out of balance with whom you really are, your illusions become larger, more believable.  This is how fear is created.  Fear is the complete opposite of love, choose love.  Choose love by making love your focus, put your energy on what you love in your life and create more of it.  You are a powerful creator, you are love and power.  Keep this thought alive, meditate on this and destroy those painful illusions...